Remember when our presence’d made mum fat and hormonal and pukish all the time? Of course not! We’d just been a mushy blob of flesh. What we’d known back then was the darkness and warmth of her womb. What we hadn’t known was that just a few weeks back, as a teeny tiny sperm with a tail and all that, we’d won the very first of the many races life’s about to put us through. (Welcome baby, to the big fat ugly world.)

Before you we even knew it, bam! Nine months of comfort, gone. Long gone. All our athammas and ammamas would form an unbreakable knot of human chain around you and behave like bees buzzing for honey. (Baby’s mind voice: It’s annoying people, get a grip! You want me to react to the stupid faces your making? You won’t stop until I do react, will you?)

Well, then as we grew up the whole world found our maddening tantrums as cute and adorable as our chubby little baby hands and baby feet. (The whole world except 2 people – the two people involved in making this bundle of tantrums! I like to call them STOS (Souls Temporarily Out of Service) who are also TPP (Temporarily Practical People – because when the athammas and ammamas are busy cooing us their mind voice goes – Yep. Cute and all that but its been 48 hrs since I had some effing sleep!)

A couple of years go by and before you know it, everyone around you is like – Oh good god please, just please stop acting like a hurricane! (Baby’s mind voice: Er, come on, you found the same thing irresistible a few moths back and now you are all face palming me? Plus, whats with the exhausted look on that face of your’s?)

You know you are giving out conflicting emotions that the poor baby can not in its wildest dreams decipher. One minute you are like – Oh! My baby! And the next you are like – Urgh! What the effing hell man! I mean please, just spare a thought about the kids thought process.

Then there comes home one day a cousin twice removed and ruins your life. All the grown ups are like – she did this when she was a year old. And your cousin’s bunch says – oh! that’s wired he did that when he was 6 months old.

Enter: First stage of Hallucination (like Bramhanandham would say). Suddenly your parents start thinking, “Wow my kid is a little slow with the alphabets. I should do something about it!” And just like that, the baby’s perfectly fine childhood turns in to a nightmare. (No pressure there!)

Your second race begins, when you utter your first words. And the third is when and how you start walking, then is the fourth about what / do you eat. And god so help you dear baby, comes the fourth, the fifth, the sixth and goes on to even (at times) your last breath.

 I mean, why?

Seriously why?

When a kid does its own thing while growing up, basic instincts like decision making, independence, self reliance develop. But when the kid is under all sorts of pressure and all sorts of bonds and restrictions – be it the clothes, be it the walk, be it the talk, be it the play, be it the academics – please lets all remember that the poor child doesn’t know how to iterate what he / she is going through. Why put our kids through all this just for something as trivial as peer pressure?

Yes, I know what you are saying and I agree. Of course the intention is good. You want the kid to not get hurt or face difficulties. But it is high time we realize that its okay to fall.

Its like how Alfred asks – Why do we fall, Master Bruce? and Batman says – So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

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